“Maybe I should reconsider my decision” with a heavy sigh she sent her friend a text “I’ve been
through hell already”, she typed and sent another text.
A Few seconds later her cell phone’s screen flashed with a text “don’t choose that hell again,
She didn’t reply.
She raised her arm and turned off the lamp on the side table, haunting silence of the midnight
possessed every corner of her room. She lay on her chest sensing the chaos within her, yet utterly
void, leaving her thoughts scattered somewhere, hiding under the darkest spaces of her existence.
Darkness was falling on every inch of her room, not even a faint flicker of light took a breath.
Hours went by without a single distraction. She wanted to get up and find sleeping pills to
overcome everlasting insomnia she was facing since she left her home, suddenly her cell
It was a text message from him after two months.
“I know I’ve been a fool for being over possessive.
Tightening your air to breathe was unfair; I know you’d never betray me,
I should’ve trusted you, shouldn’t have done what damage I did to our marriage.
Forgive me for one last time and come home, please!
I love you.”
It was midnight; his text triggered her emotions and distress hard enough to make her feel
nauseous. Reluctantly she pulled herself out of the bed and started walking towards the opened
balcony door. Summer breeze gently stroke her hair while emptily she stared down at the empty
street. Faint rays of the street lamps landed on her body making unavoidable bruises on her skin
more visible. Bruises and scars he gave her were still there blooming, as lavenders and roses
punched together. But they didn’t mean much to her since they were to fade away with each
passing day, there were more lethal colorless bruises hidden inside her.
There, she spent another hour trying to calm the hurricane inside her mind, trying to reshape the
scattered pieces of her happiness that once shaped like a vibrant red pumping heart.
Three days later she texted her friend “it’s over, we’ve separated.”
She replied “coming over in an hour”
With this text, she felt as if she has sent away all the burden and melancholy after a long time.
“Why it was so hard for you to make a decision about your life! You were all wrecked? ” her
a friend asked whilst sipping the tea.
“Because……” with a heavy voice she continued “of fear, fear of the family status, relatives,
society, reputation and of course the pessimist assumptions about the consequences which
ultimately rage a war within, which portray your happiness and comfort the least important
matters to consider, and then, you swallow all the bitterness without complaining. You simply
learn to tame the hurricane of emotions within you disguising it subtly with a smile and the false
liveliness. But then I had a limit. There is a limit to everything right?” she paused with a
“Of course there is and I’m happy at least this time you chose yourself over anything, Emaan.”
Emaan shrugged, with a forced smile which touched her cheeks after a long time but seemed
purer than before.
Her friend left her place and hugged her, overwhelmed to find her childhood friend shaking
hands with life once again. Blooming flowers out of the lavender stains, once again.