Dancing on the hood in the middle of the woods
Of an old mustang where we sang
Songs with all our childhood friends
And it went like this
Oops I got 99 problems
Singing bye bye bye……
Jace tapped his foot on the window seat along with the music. He often found himself sitting here, on his window seat, listening to music and looking out of the window, deep in thoughts. It was raining today and he loved the way the sky changed its color into something unknown and new. He loved how the raindrops fell on the windowpanes and made streams of water. They looked so much like tears that ran down her cheeks as she told him what was wrong. He couldn’t bare to see that on her but he loved to watch the rain.
Much to his displeasure, he found himself thinking of that memory over and over again. How she had started telling him, trying to be strong but couldn’t hold up the façade and had started crying. Jace was already shocked to the bone at the news and his mother crying had been too much for him. He had run out of the room, much to his father’s displeasure and headed out while calling his friends.
They were four friends in total. Him, Zara, Noah and Via. Noah and Via were siblings. Zara could make you laugh in two seconds like Noah but also be serious and understanding. Via could be dramatic, grumpy and cool. Noah was a fountain of fun and sarcasm, whereas Jace was a shy, nervous and anxious person though he was told he was amazing company and funny when he wanted to be. His friends had supported him in this but had mostly scolded at him to go back and talk to his mother. He couldn’t do it, not this early. He needed time. But his friends, especially Zara, had told him that no matter how hard it was for him, it was harder for his mother. After all cancer is not just any disease.
Right now, sitting on his window seat, looking at the rain, Jace thought about how his mother broke the news to him over and over again. How in the start she was strong and had calmly told him but then how her voice started to crack when she told him how much she loved him. That was just it, he knew she loved him but he never had given his adoptive mother any credit for that or the fact that she was always putting up with his idiotic behavior.
Jace was ten when he was adopted. He had always been the shy and nervous kid in the orphanage. They were a jolly couple, Molly and Richard. Quite rich as well, gave him many things along with his nickname; Jace from Jonathan. They were always trying to talk to him, make him laugh, make him smile. He rarely did smile and even more rarely laugh but that didn’t ever seem to stop them from trying to make him happy. He was often grumpy and always felt like they weren’t treating him normally; they always treated him like he needed special attention and was often angry at them.
His mother tried to do so much but he always pushed her back and made her feel like she was nothing to him. He was always so rude, so unforgiving, such an idiot..
UGH. Jace put his face in his hands and groaned.
But she did mean something to him, she meant everything to him and he hadn’t realized that until he was told that there was a significant amount of reason to believe she would die. She had always been there for him and what had he done? How had he treated her?
He wanted to scream or maybe even punch a wall for good measure. He felt like an unreasonable snob. He felt like he deserved to be left out on the streets kicked out of this luxurious life that he no where near deserved. When he had told that to his friends, they had told him that he could do that or he could…
Be there for her in this hard time, help her bear this and maybe help her get better, laugh with her, smile with her, wipe away her tears so that if these really were going to be her last moments, he could make them special and light these moments up in a light that she so desperately tried to turn on and make her happy. Then he wouldn’t feel so bad and she would be able to know that he did truly loved her, that she meant something- more than something- to him too and that he would try hard to make her happy as well.
Thinking about this now, with a clear head, he could see some sense in it. Well, he could see a lot of sense in it. He did love her and at this stage he would do nearly anything to let her know that.
Determined, he willed himself out of his pity party and headed for his mom’s room. Outside, he sighed, knocked and opened the door. “Mom?” She smiled up at him and the word he rarely ever used for her but she tried so hard to be called. “Hey, mind if I sit down?”