Dearest old me,
Scrolling through my social accounts, I always fancied the open letters on various writing accounts. Those long letters to Harry Potter that will fill just the right size of parchment to impress Snape or those rants; feminism, how parents just don’t get it is how best friends fall apart. No matter how much I loved to read such emotion filled unsent letters, I was never able to write one. I couldn’t find “just the right topic”.
Even though my study table I full of statuettes of all my favorite characters. And all my favorite quotes are pinned to the soft board at the adjacent wall. I just could never come up with the right words. I am not very expressive and most of the times I don’t pay heed to the things. Never did I think I will someday be writing this. But here I am. My pen is taking a pause and moving again every now and then. The page is now full of lines, ticks and crosses. I don’t believe I am being so conscious while writing to my own self. But the thing is I want to give myself the very honest opinion and the accurate advice.
I can’t say I now have unerring sense of handling the situations or I can teach you all the tactics. But, I have been there, walked in your shoes for miles. I know how you are feeling and I don’t want you to breakdown again like you did. I remember your gloomy face, followed by a frown; your two constant moods. I have felt your pain, your anxiety. But, you should know and always remember that this is just a phase and you should never let this define you. I know it is hard. I know sticking to the shore is an easier and more convenient way. I know “once the storm passes and sky clears , the sunbeams fall across your face enlightening your way” is the day you are waiting for. But let me tell you that is not happening. Because those thunders and roars of clouds are none other than your own soul screaming and waiting for help, your own help. Nobody is capable to hold your hand and pave a way for you except your own self. So, you don’t have an escape.
The dark you are allowing to invade your mind and heart needs just one ray of hope and courage. And you will see for yourself how quickly it will vanish. I know “happiness” seems just another word of a thick dictionary placed in some dusty shelf and the thought of peace puts you under greater burden of restlessness. But, all these seconds passing by, the tick-tock of the clock that may sound irritating to you for now, trust me for this one that they are worth it for no wonder your house are grey and insipid. That you miss, the charisma and the aura of thrill and adventure and most importantly the calmness and tranquility. But, there is no light without the dark, no dawn without dusk. You value the good only when you have tasted the bitter. That’s when you make out the difference. That’s when you differentiate between the right and the wrong.
Rain is symbol of love, romance for few but, of tears and misery for others. It is only about the way you want to see it. So don’t let the air of melancholy surround you for long. Take it as a nice time to teach yourself lessons that will stay with you forever, furnish yourself so that you bloom when finally the sun rises. I now know this for sure, that no matter how long and dark the tunnel is, it is defeated just by one beam of light. Keep this in mind. Happiness is not a time that will one day come to you; it is not a situation that will somehow occur sooner or later. It is a choice, a choice which is always in your hand. The day you decide you want to be happy us the happiest day of your life. Because whatever it takes it to smile and fight the waves, it is all already there in you. Take it from an experienced person, the steeper the hill is, that means the more issues you have to solve, the higher is your position in the end. So, the more you get to climb, the higher you rise.
Always, remember life may not be just as you want it to be, it may have hints and shades you don’t like, but it is worth it. Because altogether, they look aesthetic when put up on a canvas. The path may have turns you don’t want to take, but unpredictable can turn out to be incredible. Maybe this fall wasn’t your choice but, to stand up and try again is in your hands. To tremble, to slip and call is not the real problem but to be there and not make any move is something to worry about. Only, you have the magic to give yourself wings and fly. And only you can cut or hide them. Make the wiser choice. And always remember that the only “always” and “forever” you are going to have is “change”. Change of the circumstances, time, people, and your own self. Be ready to face it. Be ready to fall, fight and fly.
And after every deep ditch you “accidentally” slip into, a greater rise will wait; rise of strength and courage!
your experienced, cheerful and stronger self.